Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Who peed in the gene pool?

First of all...I'm getting over my cold. Thanks for asking. The congestion has mostly cleared and my nose is contributing to my ability to breathe again. It's nice not to be a "mouth-breather" any more. Luckily I was only mistaken for an extra from Deliverance a few times. I played some banjo licks and they realized that I was indeed sick and not trying to "make a baby with my sister". Ha! The jokes on them. I don't have a sister. How do "only child" redneck white-trash hillbillies procreate anyway (assuming that their mothers have passed their child-bearing years)? Try as they may with the family pet, but offspring are not a possibility. Hopefully. It's funny how both the highest-tier members of society and the dregs have something in common...inbreeding. Yup. It's getting hard to tell the difference between the "blue-bloods" and the yokels. Luckily the gap in social graces is usually fairly wide. That and the fact that most of the Hamptons crowd do not wear LA Gear shoes. I do hear, however, that Minolo Blahnik and Ferragamo are becoming all the rage in Mud Lick. Pretty soon the eyes of the inbred population will be so close together that they'll become cyclops.

Speaking of inbreeding...
Did you hear that Prince Charles is going to marry Camilla?

Speaking of inbreeding...
Have you seen the list of celebrities that are going to testify in the Michael Jackson trial?

Sorry. I didn't intend to go off on an inbreeding tangent. Stream of consciousness, I guess.

I just looked out the front window (1:30AM-ish) and it's snowing like the bejeezus. Holy crap! It's sticking. I thought that it would be too warm and wet to stick. By the time you read this it'll be too late. I am now, however, armed with this knowledge and know to get up 5 minutes earlier. Ha ha! This may be one of the last chances I have this season to write my name in the snow. Try printing's a bitch.

Random poll-
Which movie is worse? Ishtar or Joe Verses the Volcano? (Although I hear the new Tara Reid/Christian Slater film Alone In the Dark may be a candidate soon.) took long enough.
After 14 years of eligibility I've finally been summoned for Jury Selection. I'm surprised it took this long. I know a 24 year old who's already been called 3 times. I mail back every jury survey immediately. Call me crazy, but I've been wanting to be on jury duty for a long time. Everyone I know bitches about it, but I feel that it's my civic duty and I look forward to it. I understand that my chances are fairly slim of being selected (especially if they read some of the stuff I've posted on this blog). Hopefully they don't found out about the kazoo/Doberman/tub of Vaseline/Manhattan Clam Chowder/voices in my head/left-handed scissors/canned beets/aluminum foil hat/clown-spanking in the Rouge River-incident either. Just kidding. It was the Snake River. Anyhoo...I've got to report to the Frank Murphy Hall of Justice downtown (Detroit) on March 7 at 7:45AM. 7:45AM?!? WTF?!? I know that Justice is blind, but can't it sleep-in too? I'll get a whopping $25.00 for reporting on the first day and get 10 cents per mile. If I'm selected for a jury I'll get $40.00 for each additional day. That should be about enough to pay for parking (which is not reimbursed). Frank Murphy is a criminal court. Hopefully I'll be selected and get a juicy case. I'm salaried and I'd be getting out of work...I hope it's the "Case of the Century". That and the extra cash. Maybe I'll rewatch Twelve Angry Men (the original) to get in the mood. Chances are I'll sit around all day and not get selected, but I can always keep my fingers crossed.

I worked out tonight for about 20 minutes on my stationary recumbant bike. Holy crap! I'll try it again tomorrow, but I've got to figure out how to get a TV hooked up to the cable in the basement and adjust the light for better reading. I need something to occupy my mind while my legs are spinning otherwise I'll be insanely bored.

Time to go to bed...I've got to get up 5 minutes early on account of the snow.



Post a Comment

<< Home