Thursday, March 03, 2005

35 questions that don't have answers...

1. Why are deviled eggs so damn tasty? (I mean...seriously...they're like heroin.)
2. What happened to Glass Tiger? (The Canadian band from the 80's.)
3. Why do people listen to Ashlee Simpson? (I'd rather lick a dead rodeo clown's taint.)
4. Paper or plastic?
5. Why do many Americans still find George W. Bush infallible?
6. Why does fruitcake last so long?
7. When exactly did bottled water become a neccessity? Remember tapwater?
8. Why do people misuse language without researching it first? (ie. "fashizzle ma nizzle" and "boo-ya") Did you know that "fashizzle ma nizzle" means "for sure my ni**er"? Did you know that "boo-ya" originates from East LA gang terminology? "Boo-ya" is the sound that a shotgun blast makes in a drive-by shooting. Remember Colonel Sanders using it in a KFC commercial? Okay...this one has an answer...people are stupid.
9. Why do French people love Jerry Lewis?
10. Why do we still have troops in Iraq???
11. Why do people listen to and believe Bill O'Reilly?
12. Why is Clay Aiken a star?
13. Why does the Michigan Liquor Control Commission consist of tee-totaling neo-prohibitionists?
14. What's up with the chihuahua craze?
15. Why do people give a shit about Paris Hilton?
16. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop?
17. Why does everything "taste like chicken"?
18. What's the meaning of life?
19. Why is American Idol a hit show?
20. Where is Funkytown?
21. Do cows ever go "people-tipping"?
22. Why do weather reporters get paid to always be wrong?
23. What is the secret blend of 11 herbs and spices?
24. Why do they still make Zima?
25. Why do the best TV shows have the lowest ratings? (ie. Arrested Development)
26. How are Ozzy Osborne and Keith Richards still alive?
27. Why do people think that the Olive Garden is a good restaurant?
28. What's "krab"? (Actually, it's pollock.)
29. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?
30. If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear it does it really make a sound? (Uh...yeah it does, stupid!)
31. Why would anyone buy a Pontiac Vibe?
32. Why is there braille on drive-thru ATMs?
33. Where's Waldo?
34. Why does cheese that smells like elephant shit taste so delicious?
35. Why do people drink beer like Budweiser, Miller, or Corona when water is cheaper?

Just some random questions that came to me...

Cheers,
Jason

4 Comments:

Blogger Kathleen said...

Fruitcake lasts so long because it's marinated in rum!!!! ;-)

9:45 AM  
Anonymous Ursula said...

Drive up ATM's are the same ATM's that are installed inside banks... hence, the braille. As for #26, preservatives.

9:50 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

Hi Ursula! How are you doing? Perhaps Ozzy and Keith share some preservative secrets with the fruitcake, but I've never seen a freebasing fruitcake, except for that one Village People show...

1:50 AM  
Blogger DWD said...

"Why do people listen to Ashlee Simpson? (I'd rather lick a dead rodeo clown's taint.)"
Holy God, that made me laugh out loud!

12:47 AM  

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