Sunday, October 30, 2005

Warning! This post will offend normal people AND Republicans...

I'm tired. I've been coughing like crazy for the last week. I don't know if it's bird flu, TB, a dirty airplane, or just regular old coughing. It seems to be getting slightly better. I haven't slept well at all since Tuesday night. I'm pretty damn tired.

On Wednesday I went with BST to see a friend's band play at the Lager House. The band was okay, but the singer really sucked. Hopefully they'll figure that out. Friday I went out for drinks with one of the waitresses from the restaurant job. That was nice. I haven't done that in a while. She's a friend and it was really cool to hang with her for a while. Last night was fun. I had to work until 9:00PM, but I then headed to a friend's Halloween/Tactometer birthday party. I put my costume together the night before at 3:00AM. It didn't cost a thing either. I went as Tom Delay's mugshot. Some of the costume highlights were Awesome-o (Southpark), members of Steve Zissou's Life Aquatic crew, and J. Edgar Hoover in drag (BST). As always, it was fun sitting around chatting with college friends. It pays that some of your friends become doctors because they've got some kick-ass stories.

The sickest story that I heard was this...
(Feel free to skip if you are easily offended)

Apparently there was this flamboyantly gay guy that came to the hospital with a UTA (Urinary Tract Infection). I guess it's pretty rare for guys to get UTA's. It's mostly associated with women. The man was treated, but came back about two weeks later with another UTA. The doctor thought that this was very odd, and asked what the guy had been doing. The guy replied that he was a "Decanter". The doctor was of course puzzled and asked him what this meant. Apparently the guy works at a gay bar as a "Decanter". This supposedly means that he shoves a catheter up his one-eyed trouser snake and fills his bladder with wine, and then acts as a "Decanter" to the clubgoers for big-ass tips. Dumb-ass. I hope to never have a catheter up my business if you know what I mean. The thought of that makes me squirm more than anything...except for the possibility that Carrot Top may possibly make another movie some day. Sorry if you read that...

Yup. Doctors have great stories...and wedding photographers.

It's certainly no joy to be back to work (or this country for that matter). I need a vacation from vacation. Lots of odd things going on at work (none of them for the good). Lots of customers losing jobs too (Ford and even medical). Times are tough. I was supposed to get tickets to today's Lions game from one of the players, but alas I did not. Probably for the best seeing as they lost. I stayed home today and made a pretty kick-ass porkloin. Emeril Lagasse is right about one thing and one thing only, "Pork fat rules!"

I brought back so much chocolate from Switzerland that I haven't eaten it all yet. I'm doing my part, but still haven't tackled the pile in its entirety.

I'm ecstatic over the withdrawal of Harriet Miers and now I'm doing cartwheels over the "Scooter" Libby indictment (Not really. I can't do carwheels and it wouldn't be a pretty sight if I could.). I just hope that he doesn't draw fire away from everybody else under investigation. His nickname is "Scooter". Was he ever associated with NASCAR? There is a commonality between the idiocy of NASCAR and the idiocy of the current administration. It seems that members of both camps have a tendency to drool, shoot things for fun, count on their fingers, and create smokescreens (caused by burning oil). I've hear a rumor that Dubya is going to choose former NASCAR marketing phenom Cletus Buford Taintlicker for his next Supreme Court Justice candidate. The Texas wunderkind is known for his chaw habit, his extremist anti-abortion stance, his hatred of homosexuals, his love of tater-tots, his form-fitting Grand Dragon robe with shoulder pads and hood, his 19 year journey with Hooked on Phonics, his disregard of separation of church and state, his love of coloring books and Play-Doh, his dislike of vegetables and free-thinkers, and his Simian-like traits. He is married to Lulu May Dingleberry-Taintlicker. He met the love of his life when his mother gave birth to her. They have one son/brother, one daughter, and one banjo-pluckin' mutant that resembles a cross between a goat and George C. Wallace. The perfect nominee...

Don't forget to vote in your upcoming local elections! I can't vote in the Detroit election, but I sincerely hope that Freman Hendrix wins and saves the city that Kwame destroyed. The Dearborn election promises to be lots of fun too!

Indict Dubya!

Random poll- Why are fundamentalists friends with the devil (Cheney)?

Random poll #2- What is your least favorite Halloween treat (not including Candy Corn, Circus Peanuts, or apples)?

You Are

An Angry Pumpkin Face

You would make a good smashed pumpkin.

Halloween Horoscope for Virgo

Eh, Halloween is not exactly you favorite holiday.
You costume is usually pretty simple - if it exists at all.

Costume suggestions: A scary mask or whatever you wore last year

Signature Halloween candy: Tootsie Pops

Happy Halloween! Hope you get lots of candy!!!



Blogger Glen said...

Random poll #2- What is your least favorite Halloween treat (not including Candy Corn, Circus Peanuts, or apples)?

I'd have to say either Almond Joy bars or Zagnut(cue scene with Chevy Chase "Don't you EVER change your candy?"

I almost called you to see if you wanted to go see Rosa with me but then I heard about the 4 hour wait and I figured between that and the parking it would have been to long of a time investment for us working stiffs. I did feel an urge to go see her, hard to explain.

11:28 AM  

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