Thursday, November 03, 2005

Dubya's flu plan and "Ladybugs shit too!"

As I'm hacking away (coughing) I'm thinking it's great timing for Dubya to scare America once again with the release of his flu plan. It is of course entirely possible for a flu pandemic to happen. One expert said that American flu pandemics run sort of cyclically (about every 30 years or so) and that we're about due. He did mention that it would be very UNLIKELY for the Asian bird flu to affect the US on any major level. While this time there is at least a little potential truth to Dubya's plan, the timing couln't be more suspicious. Just another SCARE TACTIC to distract America from "Scooter", Rove, Delay, Iraq, and the whole "New Watergate" thing. It's absolutely deplorable that anyone, let alone an American President, could scare an already terrified nation even further simply to distract them from the truth. Darth Dubya is an evil, evil man. Emperor Cheney has a lot of faith in Darth Dubya's grasp and acceptance of the dark side of the force, but he's fearful that this is stupidest apprentice ever.

Here's another great Jack Lessenberry column from this week's Metro Times about "Bush's Watergate". It's a good read and actually simplifies some of the details of the whole ordeal. Good stuff!

How the F' can Ashlee Simpson's new album be #1 on the Billboard Charts?!?!? Seriously?!? WTF?!? Well...I guess it's the same people that voted for Dubya again. But then again, 6 year-olds can't vote. Did they allow 6 year-olds to vote in the last national election? Just like Dubya, Ashlee f's up but then distracts the nation and they love her again. It only took a new hair color for her fans to forget how much she sucks. Next time someone gets indicted Dubya's going to go blonde. That should put the dogs off of his smell for a couple of weeks or so...

Can't wait for the new Kate Bush album...

I'm thinking of going Trick-or-Treating next year. We barely had anyone stop by (maybe 5 or 6 groups), and our house was extremely decorated. That means that there's a lot of available candy out there. All of our Trick-or Treaters were driven from house to house. The only walking they did was from the curb or driveway to the door. It's sad that kids don't Trick-or-Treat anymore. They go to safe and boring school parties. That's no fun! Halloween is all about walking around in the dark in ridiculous costumes and risking the occasional razor blade and candy mugging. Has Halloween gone the way of the dodo and Glass Tiger? The good old days are gone...

I really want to see Capote.

The Australian issue of the Wine Advocate came today. I'll be reading it very thoroughly. It's kind of like Christmas when it comes...

I'm VERY happy that This American Life with Ira Glass is coming back to WDET (Fridays from 3:00PM-4:00PM and Sundays Noon-1:00PM)!!! I can't wait to hear the fascinating essays brought to us by the likes of Mr. Glass, Sarah Vowell, and David Sedaris again. Very, very excited! IT'S THE BEST SHOW ON RADIO!!!

Speaking of Ira Glass...he's coming to the Michigan Theater in Ann Arbor on Saturday, December 10th.

This is the time of year where homes in southeastern Michigan are invaded by multitudes of Asian beetles. They are considered pests and they certainly are very annoying. We also get a bunch of another type of beetle this time of year, but I don't know what it's called. Anyway...these Asian beetles very closely resemble the common American ladybug. I think that I can tell the difference, but I tend to leave them alone just in case I'm wrong. And this is what puzzles me. For some reason Americans are trained to like ladybugs...to leave them alone. I'm one of them. They're very helpful in the garden and are a boon to the organic farming industry. The're kind of cute. People let ladybugs land on them and treat them gingerly. But why have ladybugs been singled out? Americans don't generally like any sort of bug. I'm not a big fan, because we were trained that all bugs are icky except for ladybugs. We are taught to revere the ladybug. I'm not saying that it's wrong, but why the ladybug and not someother bug? If another bug were to land on our body we'd flick it off and maybe even kill it, but we let the ladybugs crawl all over. I once heard that ladybugs are the most voracious predator on earth (ounce for ounce). But they're damn cute!

So what makes this vile?







And this cute?





I'll continue to be a ladybug lover and let them land on me, but I really don't know why. It must have been imprinting when I was a kid. I'll continue to dislike Asian beetles because that's what I'm supposed to do. But just remember...ladybugs are like any other beetle, but have colorful marking. Ladybugs shit too!

I hope that a ladybug shits in Ashlee Simpson's mouth and Dubya screws a Vietnamese chicken...

Random poll- What are your favorite and least favorite Thanksgiving side dishes?

Random poll #2- Are you voting next Tuesday?

Random poll #3- If you could do an episode of VH-1's Bands Reunited, which band would you most like to reunite?

Cheers,
Jason

2 Comments:

Blogger Glen said...

Random poll #3- If you could do an episode of VH-1's Bands Reunited, which band would you most like to reunite?

1. Genesis with Gabriel
2. The Stone Roses
3. Uncle Tupelo

Most of the others involve either time travel or bringing someone back from the dead, so those 3 will have to do. Yeah, I know the Roses would be sloppy as hell, but I never saw them...

3:38 PM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

The reason we don't like the new Asian ladybug-appearing bug is that it bites like a mo'fo.

Random Poll #1: Sweet Potatoes are vile and evil and should never be prepared. *shudder* Favorited side dish? Mashed potatoes, san duit.

Random Poll #2: Um, nope, didn't vote. Was coming home from Mexico.

Random Poll #3: Um, Joy Division?

11:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home