Saturday, March 12, 2005

Where in the world is John C? Part Zwei

...when we left off John C was passed out drunk in the luggage-hold on a plane headed for Djibouti.

John groggily wakes up about an hour out of Djibouti, somewhere over Eritrea. John C doesn't know where he is or why he smells of malt vinegar, but somehow knows that he's not headed to Greece. About an hour later the plane lands and John is violently thrown about the luggage compartment. The door opens shortly thereafter and he makes his escape. He knows that he must figure out where he is quickly if he's ever going to make it to Greece to meet his love. Luckily, John quickly picked up on a little-known northern Djibouti dialect as well as doing a quick geological analysis of the soil and quickly ascertained that he was indeed in the northern African nation of Djibouti. John discovered another can of Spotted Dick in his coat pocket and quickly devoured it for the energy that he would need to swim to Greece. He smelled the salt air in the distance and headed for the coast. Upon discovering the Red Sea, John C quickly dove in and swam north to the Suez Canal. John reached the canal, and then the Mediterranian in record time. To John C's amazement he was picked up by a giant yacht in the Mediterranian that agreed to take him to Greece. Turns out that the yacht was being rented by Jay-Z and Beyonce, and when they heard about his quest to meet his love they were brought to tears. John enjoyed some Crystal while he played shuffleboard with Beyonce. He was sure to compliment her on her four dress-changes at the Oscars and how she made everyone else on the red carpet look like ass in a glass. They stopped in Crete for a quick Slurpee and then went on to dock near Athens. He made it. He was in Greece. But where is his love?

John C thanked Beyonce and Jay-Z for their kindness and gave them "big props". They both were so struck by John that they agreed to each call their next albums "The John Album: Big Pimpin'". John made his way into town and bought a really cool shirt at a tourist trap that said "It's Greek to Me" on the front and a picture of a gyro on the back. Geeked by his find he had the proper motivation to find his way to the airport to find his luggage. He was surprised that there weren't any Coney Islands anywhere. He had a hankerin' for some chili-mac, chicken lemon rice soup, and a Coney with extra onions, but had to settle for some marinated octopus salad instead and a bottle of Mavrodaphne of Patras. John took a cab to the airport and luckily his luggage was waiting for him. Now it's time for John C to conquer Greece...

Where in the world is John C now? He's at the Acropolis with Carmen Sandiego and Waldo. Tune in tomorrow to find out...
"Where in the world is John C?"

Cheers,
Jason

1 Comments:

Blogger Brian P said...

Hillarious Jason!
As for the Where in the world chain.. you should follow the last guy.

9:41 PM  

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