Saturday, July 16, 2005

Switzerland is a go, the hybridization of cold sweat and Sasquatch fart, Quentin Tarantino on crack (supposedly), and Don Cherry...still loud

Well...Switzerland is officially a "go". I booked my ticket today. I'll be going for one week in early October to visit family. I'd love to stay longer, but I've only got one week vacation left. With the exception of my aunt who has visited the U.S. several times, I haven't seen any of my Swiss family (my mom's entire family) since 1988. That's too long! My Swiss family are the greatest people on Earth. They are the most geniune, loving people one could imagine. I can't wait to see them again. I also can't wait to see one of the most beautiful places on the planet again. I'll actually be flying there with my mom, but she'll be staying an extra week. I can't wait to see my Oma (grandma) again. I look forward to seeing everyone and meeting my only first-cousin's three kids for the first time. It's going to be great. It's going to be a long time until October gets here... I'll take lots and lots of pictures...

I haven't posted much lately. This craptacular weather has really zapped my energy. It's still hot and moist. I'm still having issues trying to manage my moist manliness. Today I think it was in the mid to high 80's and about 400% humidity. The air feels like gravy...hot, lumpy gravy. That would be all well and good were I a lump of mashed potatoes, but sadly no...I am indeed merely a moist mortal human. We've had issues with the AC at work too...that sucks! It feels great when it's working correctly on full-blast, but at the same time the customers start to smell like a mix of cold sweat and Sasquatch fart. Cold sweat, to me, is one of the worst smells in existence. Sasquatch fart doesn't bother me so much, but when combined with cold sweat it smells worse than "Sex Panther" cologne (Anchorman). I hate it when I'm helping a customer choose a wine and I want to gag because they reek so bad. The customers in this situation really can't control their rank condition. It's the weather's fault. At least we didn't get hit by any hurricanes or tornadoes. The husband of one of my favorite customers works for FEMA and he's got to spend about 3 months in Florida. OUCH!!! He's spent time in Guam and many other disaster areas. His wife, my customer, will be visiting Sri Lanka later this year. She'll spend about a week or more traveling/touristing and then help out with Tsunami relief efforts for about a week. Very noble. Anyway...hoping for snow...

I just heard on TV tonight that Quentin Tarantino is dating Kevin Federline's (Mr. Spears) ex-girfriend. WHAT?!? As far as I knew I thought he was still dating Sofia Coppola. That seems like a major step down. Kind of like dating Dubei or Monaco and then dumping her for Taylor, Michigan. Although I'm sure it was her that did any dumping. I don't know how long anyone can handle ADHD on meth and coke. Let it be known, for the public record, that I am indeed available if Sofia Coppola is available. Ms. Coppola...may I please woo you? Lost in Translation is one of the greatest modern films committed to celluloid. As far as your directing is concerned you have carte blanche...just please don't try acting again. I'll be waiting for your response Sofia...I will put out on the first date.

I really hope that Murderball plays in Detroit. Looks like a really cool documentary and it's received glowing reviews.

Have you seen any of that horrendous MTV's The 70's House? First of all it capitalizes on all of the cheesiest bits of the 70's, but it also doesn't seem to recognize the existence of punk in the 70's. Most perplexing is the sheer idiocy and ignorance of the contestants. They don't know how to use a rotary phone...WTF?!?!? One of them commented how he'd never used a phone with a cord on it. WTF Pt.2?!?!? They can't seem to exist without microwaves, cellphones, or computers. These kids today...I tell ya'. Kid's today seem to be a lot less aware of the past. I'm not talking about world history, but rather what happened in recent American history and pop culture. Most of the high school and early college kids I encounter haven't heard of any movies prior to their existence. It's sad. I was born in the early 70's and I'm fascinated by the 60's and 50's. Kids today need to broaden their attention spans. They need to watch more TV and play less video games. I actually attribute my trivial and pop cultural knowlege to watching way too much TV when I was a kid.

My fave Katie won the Cooking Under Fire TV chef competition on PBS. Hooray!!! I'm glad that Katsuji was 86'd a while ago. He's such a tool!

The casting of this season's The Surreal Life and Celebrity Fit Club on VH1 is almost unfair. I had no intention of watching either...but...Gary Busey...

I'm glad that the the All-Star Game went off without any major hitches or riots. WTG Detroit!!!!!!

Looks like NHL hockey will be back next season. Although I'm not a huge fan (I have absolutely nothing against it), I'm really glad to see it back. I'm not going to go into salary-caps or any of that stuff, because I don't know and don't really care. I'm just glad to have it back. Hopefully it will help reinvigorate the local economy. Detroiters spend a lot of money on Redwings tickets, shirts, souveniers, and such, but perhaps most importantly they spend a butt-load of money at local bars and restaurants during hockey season. If you're not a Detroiter reading this perhaps you don't know that Detroit Redwing fans are the greatest fans in the world...really...no, really... Redwing fans are fanatically, insanely loyal!!! Speaking of hockey...I saw Don Cherry on CBC Channel 9 the other night in perhaps the loudest, craziest outfit that I've ever seen him in (not the one on the site...that one's tame). You can find out about Don Cherry here if you don't live in a hockey town. Go Redwings!

Cheers,
Jason

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