Two borrowed borrowed surveys...

*If I were a month, I'd be: September

*If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Sunday

*If I were a time of day, I'd be: 2:00AM

*If I were a planet, I'd be: Neptune

*If I were a sea animal, I'd be: whale shark

*If I were a direction, I'd be: North West

*If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: a teak Danish Modern endtable (or a beanbag chair)

*If I were a sin, I'd be: sloth

*If I were a historical figure, I'd be: dead

*If I were a liquid, I'd be: shiraz

*If I were a tree, I'd be: a redgum eucylptus

*If I were a bird, I'd be: pooping on your car

*If I were a flower, I'd be: an iris

*If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: overcast and drizzly with a chance of sun

*If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: a griffin

*If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: a stand-up bass

*If I were an animal, I'd be: a wallaby

*If I were a colour, I'd be: black

*If I were an emotion, I'd be: concerned

*If I were a vegetable, I'd be: jicama

*If I were a sound, I'd be: guitar feedback

*If I were an element, I'd be: air or mercury (depends on which way you look at it)

*If I were a car, I'd be: a 1980 Plymouth Volare Premiere Edition with a Slant-6

*If I were a song, I'd be: "Let's Get Drunk and Screw"...but seriously, "You Can't Always Get What You Want" - Rolling Stones

*If I were a movie, I'd be: Tampopo

*If I were a food, I'd be: a slow roasted pork loin

*If I were a place, I'd be: Kalangadoo, naturally

*If I were a material, I'd be: denim (tough, but soft and comforting)

*If I were a taste, I'd be: creamsicle

*If I were a scent, I'd be: summer rain

*If I were a religion, I'd be: thinking about changing identities

*If I were a word, I'd be: subtle

*If I were an object, I'd be: a mirror

*If I were a body part, I'd be: a nose

*If I were a facial expression, I'd be: puzzled

*If I were a subject in school, I'd be: geography

*If I were a cartoon character, I'd be: A hybrid of Charlie Brown and Bill the Cat

*If I were a shape, I'd be: a rhombus

*If I were a number, I'd be: 9


Survey #2

Last Cigarette: Don't smoke
Last Alcoholic Drink: Last night, draft Newcastle
Last Car Ride: Tonight when I drove home from work
Last Kiss: Ouch! About 4 years. Thanks...thanks for asking.
Last Good Cry: I don't remember the last "good cry" (maybe 15 years), but I teared up a little last night at the end of the film Millions
Last Library Book: Many many moons ago.
Last book bought: "La Technique" by Jacques Pepin-used (Out of Print)
Last Book Read: "Partly Cloudy Patriot" by Sarah Vowell
Last Movie Seen in Theatres: Millions last night
Last Movie Rented: "The Man Who Fell to Earth" about 4 years ago (I don't currently have a membership anywhere)
Last Cuss Word Uttered: f*ck
Last Beverage Drank: Guernsey Dairy Skim Milk
Last Food Consumed: Leftover homemade linguini aglio olio w/bacon
Last Crush: Currently...can't say
Last Phone Call: A call at work from a clinically insane person (my boss)
Last TV Show Watched: "The Daily Show" is on right now
Last Time Showered: this morning
Last Shoes Worn: My black "Blunnies". My new Blundstone boots made in Tasmania. They rule! My Carolina Boot Company combat boots are wearing out.
Last CD Played: The new John Doe..."Forever Hasn't Happened Yet"...Awesome!!!
Last Item Bought: Gallon of milk and chocolate at work.
Last Download: Opened an e-mail with an attachment
Last Annoyance: work...today
Last Disappointment: work...today
Last Soda Drank: Coke
Last Thing Written: I took a phone message for someone before leaving work.
Last Key Used: Car key
Last Words Spoken: Yes (I'll move my car)
Last Sleep: last night
Last Ice Cream Eaten: I won't count the shitty ice cream I had yesterday, so I'll say sweet cream with caramel, chocolate chips, and pecans at Coldstone Creamery last week
Last Chair Sat In: Home computer chair right now.
Last Webpage Visited: erobertparker.com