Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The world as we know it is a crap sandwich...

First of all I have to say how deeply saddened I am by the death and devastation of Hurricane Katrina. I've been watching pieces of news here and there and I am simply overwhelmed by the aftermath in America's south. The damage done is unfathomable to me. I cannot believe some of the sights I've seen. The amount of people rendered homeless is mind-boggling. They say that this is the worst natural disaster in American history and I can certainly believe it. My heart goes out to everyone who has lost a friend, family member, pet, or home. Watching people waving flags on their roofs waiting for rescue is disheartening, especially as there are so many of them. One of the pictures that most stuns me is the one of the Biloxi casino that has been tossed inland on top of a hotel. I think that this should be the number one news story, not higher gas prices. I'll pay higher gas prices as long as necessary. Lets worry about people instead. Hey Dubya! How about getting the troops out of Iraq and getting them into Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida. Let them save lives (including their own) rather than take them. Iraq's infrastructure is in a lot better shape than our own right now. Maybe you could drop Pat Robertson in the middle of Tikrit in exchange for the troops coming home to help out in the south.

Please donate now to the American Red Cross!

There is more unsettling news...
I read about this in the new Metro Times. Apparently there is a "low-profile rewriting of rules and laws governing our national parks, with no input from Congress or the publlic, but apparently plenty from the off-road recreational vehicle lobby. The author of this sneaky rewrite is Paul Hoffman, deputy assistant secretary of the Department of Interior for fish, wildlife and parks."
Find out more about it here at www.npsretirees.org. Be sure to check out all the links, especially this very detailed one here that shows an analysis of draft NPS policy changes. Don't let Dubya and his "Good 'ol Boy Network" win!

Good news from the Metro Times...
Apparently the former Mason-Girardot Alan Manor in Windsor has reopened under new ownership. The new owner is former sous chef Jeff Kondrat. The review essentially claims that it's as great as it used to be, albeit without the infamous Dhiren Miyanger hosting your meal. Dhiren has returned to his acting career and may be seen in many Canadian films and Canadian TV. Mason-Girardot Alan Manor was the best Turkish-French restaurant in a Victorian house in Windsor that I've ever eaten at...and the only one. But seriously, it was a great restaurant, with lots of vegetarian options. If the new incarnation is half as good it'll be worth making the trip across the border.
411 Mill St., Windsor
(519)253-9212

Why are people so stupid? Seriously??? Customers often ask me "How do you know so much about wine?" or "How do you remember where all the wines are in the store? I could never do that...". Well...it's my job. That's what I do. If I couldn't find the wines I'd be doing a pretty piss-poor job as far as I'm concerned. I do have above average memory skills as far as numbers, cepages, regions, percentages, wine-laws and such, but it's still my job. We have almost 4500 wines and I know where each of them is and I know something about them. I've even tasted most of them. Maybe working in a library in my past has helped me with my mental organization, but regardless, I should still know how to perform my job. I often want to say, "I'm sure you're pretty good at your job too...drunkenly operating the Tilt-a-Whirl. You must have special skills too...perhaps drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon cans with a straw while making armpit fart noises with your free hand will move you up to the Elephant Ear stand soon enough. Someday the embroidered wifebeater with matching baseball cap will be yours. Dare to dream buddy, dare to dream..." Or maybe "I'll come to your job and ask you how you know when it's safe to clean the Frialator." I'm not saying that everybody is stupid, but people sure ask a lot of retarded questions.

I especially love the folks that matter-of-factly proclaim "I don't drink wine. I'm a beer drinker, but my girlfriend likes wine...and I might get laid if I get her ass drunk on wine. She likes wine. I don't. I can't stand the shit. Men are supposed to drink beer, anyway. So which one of these has the highest alcohol? Will she get all freaky n' shit if she drinks this? Cool...cool. I ain't gonna have me none, I'm gonna be drinkin' my Milwaukee's Best if you know what I mean..."
3 weeks later...
"Hey man! Thanks! My girl got all kinds of nasty thanks to that wine you picked out. I'm gonna buy be four more bottles for the weekend."
"Ummm...you're welcome, dawg."

Too many guys feel like they have to profess their disdain for wine as soon as they step foot in the wine department to retain some level of masculinity or something. I have nothing against beer drinkers. I like beer. But some guys feel emasculated by wine. Drinking a glass of cabernet is not going to castrate anybody, contrary to machismo belief. However, wearing your NASCAR/Skoal/John Deere/Who Farted? hat crooked while grabbing your crotch does affect your ability to think clearly, make intelligent decisions, or may even give your penis "Turtle Head Sydrome". It's okay to ask for help too!

I also just read about a guy that wants to start a rickshaw business (bike taxi) in Detroit. It may sound silly at first, but he thinks that a lot of people going to downtown games may want a ride from their parking lot to Ford Field/Comerica/Fox Theater/etc. It'll save them several minutes of walking and bypass panhandlers. He's trying to get the city to approve it and work out license requirements. Good luck to him!

Please answer this if you can. When exactly (month, date, year) did thongs become flip-flops and dental floss/G-strings become thongs?

Random poll- How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
(The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind...)

But seriously...
Random poll- What will you miss most about summer? What will you miss the least?


and not for the squeamish...

"The World's Ugliest Dog" (3-time winner)

I love dogs, but how could anyone love this unfortunate thing?

Cheers,
Jason

2 Comments:

Blogger Kathleen said...

I had a discussion yesterday with a Libertarian who didn't feel it necessary to donate to the Hurricane Relief Fund because those people chose to live there, chose not to leave their houses, etc. I about blew a gasket.

Eeeewwwww! Guys say that to you? Pick a wine that will get my girlfriend drunk? That's so wrong! It's one thing to think it, but to say it out loud to a STRANGER?

I will miss heat when summer goes (not the humidity, however). I will miss just grabbing my keys and going. I hate having to get bundled up like the Michelin man and then trying to get comfortable with all that extra padding behind the wheel of my car. God, I hate winter.

7:24 AM  
Blogger Eri said...

I live south-west of New Orleans. Other than a fallen tree and missing shingles, we're all fine. Some of the communities south of where I live are pretty much gone, however. It's just unbelievable to see the pictures of the places I've been to hundreds of times before be . . . well, evaoporated.

Thanks for thinking of us down here. Even if we're not getting the attention from those who are supposed to be helping us the most, we appreciate that citizens like yourself actually give a damn.

Eri

7:25 PM  

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