Sunday, March 19, 2006

Hot salami and bourbon breath...

Where do I begin?
Work? Maybe...
It sucks!
Work has been very bad lately and it's gotten worse despite some wonderful news. There is a certain person who has worked under me for almost two years now. I have been trying to get said person fired for almost two years now, but to no avail. And now the bitch up and quits before she has a chance to get fired. There are MANY reasons that she should have been fired and I have presented them to the store manager (the Anti-Christ). They include general ineptitude, being rude to customers, condescending to customers, drinking on the job, being drunk on the job, being drunk at tastings, inability to follow direction (especially mine), sleeping around with tradesfolk, immaturity, general cluelessness, disappearing for an hour with a customer in the parking lot and coming back with messed up hair, having a breath that smells of hot salami and bourbon (it could peel paint), and being a Francophile. Yet she has managed to maintain employment. I have approached the powers that be, but they just loved her. I'm assuming there may have been something going on between her and the owner or something. She's a spoiled GP girl born with a silver spoon up her ass who went to private school all of her life and then graduated from UM with a degree in French Studies or some other bullshit. (She lived in France for a year.) I have actually heard her say that she either wanted to be really successful in business (Right away. A wine importer for example.) or to marry for money. She lives with a doctor, but sees LOTS of guys and gets dinner and a handshake out of them. And by handshake I mean sex. She recently turned 23 or 24 and she is the most clueless and naive person that I have ever met. She actually expects to become an importer right away...the actual person that travels and finds new wines to import. The only way to do that is to be the owner of the company and WORK your way up the ladder. Sleeping her way up may be a shortcut, but the top of the ladder is pretty shaky. She thought that the owner was "mean" to her and she quit without giving any notice. The owner has been "mean" to me for almost seven years now. You've got to have pretty thick skin to work in the wine business. It's not all glamour. She maintains a romantic notion of wine and the wine industry. Wine is a beautiful and soulful, but the wine industry is an ugly, calloused, political succubus. It's not a pretty business. She'll never make it. She had talked of moving to California wine country and "working" out there. I hope the ugly hand of business knocks her on her pale white ass. Oh...I'm sorry...did that sound mean? Let me tell you how I really feel about her... ;)

She was essentially a worthless body, but a body nonetheless. Her leaving really screws me. Thanks bitch!

3 years in Iraq and nothing to show for it except for lots of dead and pissed-off people. It's too bad that Dubya never accidentally snorted any Drano in his coke-binging days. 3 years later Dubya is still the world's biggest asshole, but it's had time to stretch. Some day he will have to answer for all of his atrocities and I'd like to be the first person in line tie razor wire around his nuts. (I'm not a violent person. Really!) Fuck you President Fucktard!

I once again missed out on one of my favorit traditions. St. Patrick's Day at the Gaelic League. This is probably the 3rd or 4th year now that I haven't been. I miss it. It's still the best party in town. Unfortunately most of my friends have abandoned the tradition and it's sort of lame to go alone. Oh least I save a lot of money by not going. I spent my St. Patrick's day working at an Italian restaurant. It was dead...

Speaking of Irish...
When did Bono change his moniker from Bono Vox (real name Paul Hewson)? Really! Was it is before or during "The Joshua Tree"?

Thank the frickin' powers that be that The Sopranos is back on TV! I am so happy that it's back! We just got our HBO hooked up again (only because of The Sopranos) and I am overjoyed! The season premier was intense and invigorating. Tonight's episode was very good. It's going to be a very interesting 20 episodes until it ends. Great f'ing show!

It's really sad that Isaac Hayes is pulling out of South Park as Chef after all these years. He didn't say anything as they made fun of Christianity, Mormonism, Islam, Judaism, and Buddhism, but one episode about Scientology and he quits (he's a Scientologist). Revisit the freaky Rolling Stone article here. It really is a shocking read no matter how much you think you know about Scientology. What will Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric do without Chef?

I read that Warner Brothers has green-lighted a remake of The Dirty Dozen. Say it ain't so. Please don't fuck with a classic! Don't even dare try replacing Charles Bronson, Jim Brown, Lee Marvin, John Cassavetes, Donald Sutherland, and Telly Savalas! Any attempt at a remake will just be stupid! I hope they don't get any ideas about Kelly's Heroes...
If the name Pauly Shore comes up I'm screaming...

Peter Tomarken, the host of Press Your Luck in the 80's, died when the small plane he was piloting crashed. His wife also died in the crash. He was 63.

I've been invited for dinner at friends' next Sunday for cassoulet. Mmmmmmmmmm...cassoulet. I love cassoulet!

Earn a spot on VH1 and Entertainment Weekly's new show "The World Series of Pop Culture" by testing your pop culture IQ on! A pop culture test will be administered live on the site at both 7PM and 10PM EST on Wednesday, March 29th. I'm going for it! Why don't you?

How would you re-cast The Dirty Dozen (don't worry about replacing each character with a specific actor, just come up with 12 people that would make it not suck so much)?
Here are some of my thoughts...
Ving Rhames (Terrence Howard is too small and Lawrence Fishburne is too old) for the Jim Brown spot, Russell Crowe, Vincent D'Onofrio, Peter Stormare, Edward Norton, Sean Astin (humor me...he just did a great job on 24), Keifer Sutherland (daddy was in it...why not?), Michael Imperioli, Michael Rappaport, Lou Diamond Philips (he needs the work), Peter Saarsgard, and Willem Dafoe.



Blogger Glen said...

This is strictly from memory, but I seem to recall that the VOX got dropped from Bono somewhere between OCTOBER and WAR....maybe just after WAR. It was early on, I know that for sure.

2:18 PM  

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