Sunday, May 07, 2006

Worst movie ever?

Quite possibly...
This evening I went out with some friends and we decided to see a movie. I haven't seen a film in the theater in a long time so I was pretty willing to something I wouldn't normally choose. Most of the choices were nixed for all of us. The thing that I wanted to see most in the mainstream theater was Thank You For Smoking, but the timing was not right. It would not have been my friends' first choice, but they would have seen it. For the record I usually hate the movies they want to see and they absolutely abhor the movies I want to see. Using process of elimination we settled and decided to see The Benchwarmers. I figured that it would be a stupid SNL alum vehicle, but even I couldn't believe what an absolute stinker it was. It stank more than a decaying corpse wrapped in skunk cabbage on a hot and humid day. My time would have been better spent cleaning a truck stop restroom with my tongue. The Benchwarmers will give Manos the Hands of Fate a run for its money on the shit-scale. The Benchwarmers is the biggest turd laid since Barbara Bush shat out a steaming pile of Dubya.

Did you know that May is International Masturbation Month? Seriously. Have fun kids! And I've been treating it like it's a year long event...

The new issue of Entertainment Weekly posted a "Special Website Edition of The Must List (Ten Things We Love This Week)"
Here are 4 of the highlights-
www.cuteoverload.com (When you can't get enough puppies, kittens, bunnies, etc.)
www.overheardinnewyork.com (Things actually overheard in New York)
www.japander.com (Big time American thespians doing Japanese commercials)
www.silentbobspeaks.com (Kevin Smith's online diary. I think I'm going to order the "Got Christ?" T-shirt.)

The guy that plays Artie on The Sopranos was just arrested in New York for DWI and cocaine posession.

What's my opinion of Rosie O'Donnell joining The View? I really couldn't give a crap.

Apparently Britney and K-Fed are going to have another kid. I'm sure MENSA will be scouting the child like Buddhists and a young Dali Lama...

They're going to remake Clash of the Titans. But the original was so bad/good...

Work this week will be about as fun as a barrel of dead monkeys.

I'm going to be judging a wine competition in Canada next weekend. What exactly do I tell them at the border???

Have a great week!

ITMFA!

Cheers,
Jason

Random poll- What's your favorite masturbation euphemism?

3 Comments:

Blogger Glen said...

Cuffing the Guv'ner...

Pulling it...

Giving it the Billy Squier...

Being Hand-y...

Tiddling your wink...

Teasing the Cobra...

and for the ladies...reading romance novels with one hand

12:38 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

Is The Benchwarmers the David Spade movie? If so, you should have asked. Mark from a certain record store saw it the weekend it opened and declared it the worst two hours of his life. Of course, IMHO, your first clue should have been "David Spade."

I despise this habit Hollywood has developed of remaking classics! I LOVED Clash of the Titans. They're just going to ruin it with all that swell CGI stuff.

11:40 AM  
Anonymous btremelo said...

I'm rather fond of "the five-knuckle shuffle" myself. A close runner-up is "punching the clown".

B

2:18 AM  

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