Friday, April 28, 2006

Busy, busy, busy...

It's been a busy, busy week. Things won't let up much until the weekend is over. May looks to be an insanely busy month for me (work-wise). I'm really not looking forward to it. Next week should be my lightest week for a while. I'll post more details next week, but this week my time has been spent prepping for a dinner party I'm throwing this Sunday, working (of course), and getting a new car. I've got to check my nuts...roasting in the oven.

Have an awesome weekend!



Random Poll- What's your "signature" dish?

Monday, April 24, 2006

Not as good as sex, better than bag fries...

24...what a f'in awesome show! Now I'm really upset with myself that I didn't watch the earlier seasons. But I don't know if previous seasons could be any better than this one because it's too frickin' perfect. The show is nail-bitingist of all time. I don't even have enough fingers. The guy who plays the President should get an Emmy (did you know that he played one of the Krishnas in Airplane?). Jean Smart in her "smartest" role ever (sorry for that one). William Devane taking the plunge. And now the biggest prick of all, the former Dr. "Rocket" Romano (actor Paul McCrane), comes on board. Who exactly is the President answering to? Peter Weller was a pretty big prick til' McCrane came on board. Did you know that Peter Weller is a professor at Syracuse? Ray Wise (Laura Palmer's dad) as VP is pretty damn cool too. My brain is about to burst. This season of 24 is too damn perfect. I really can't wait to see what happens every week. Is it the perfect show?

The Sopranos is pretty damn close competition. Arty went friggin' insane last night! It was awesome! The guest appearances by Sir Ben Kingsley and Lauren Bacall were pretty sweet! I was flipping channels last week when I caught about the last 45 minutes of True Romance...I forgot what a frickin' badass James Gandolfini was as Virgil. Great movie! Yeah...The Sopranos still rules!

Tonight on No Reservations Anthony Bourdain was in Sweden and spent about half the show bashing ABBA. Awesome! Also cool is that Anthony declared that his "desert island album" would be "Funhouse" by the Stooges.

That's all for now.



Saturday, April 22, 2006

100 Worst Song Lyrics...

This is also taken from the Boston Phoenix. What's your take?

The 100 worst lyrics of all time
It's in your hands, America


4/20/2006 7:48:54 PM

Warrant's "Cherry Pie" is a possibility in our poll

VH-1, that paragon of list-making, recently set out to find the greatest lyric of all time. And after their exhaustive poll, which included asking Jon Bon Jovi and Noel Gallagher for their two cents, they discovered that "One" by U2 featured the best lyric: "One Life / With Each Other / Sisters / Brothers" was number one, followed by the words of the Smiths, Nirvana, the Who, Radiohead, Marvin Gaye, Eminem, Bob Marley and, er, Coldplay and Robbie Williams (not in that order.)
And all that's fine, and some of them were really good choices, giving us hope for America. But where was Ol' Dirty Bastard!?

Anyway, as we are fond of doing, we'd like to give the opposing view. And after you all complained so loudly about not being able to give your two cents and vote for the 100 Unsexiest Men in the World list, we’ve compiled some of our favorite nominations (from polling Phoenix music editors and writers) of some of the worst lyrics of all time, in no special order. These are just the nominees for the worst lyrics ever. We're leaving the voting to you. And you can use the comments to write in your own suggestions -- we're sure there are plenty we're missing. Results of the voting will appear in the future in this space.

To clarify, we're not indicting these songs, necessarily. Some of them are good. And also, we're not saying the entirety of these songs' lyrics are bad - just these specific lines we're singling out.

And, before everyone starts in on us: yes, we know, it's hard to write a song, we've never written any popular songs, these people sleep with beautiful women and/or men, yadda yadda yadda. Right, we're aware. Save the keystrokes, Mr. Aiken.

Warrant, "Cherry Pie"
“Swingin' in the living room / Swingin' in the kitchen / Most folks don't / 'cause they're too busy bitchin' / Swingin' in there 'cause / She wanted me to feed her / So I mixed up the batter / And she licked the beater.”
The reason most people don’t swing? Because they’re too busy bitching. Makes sense to us.

LFO, “Summer Girls”
“New Kids On The block had a bunch of hits / Chinese food makes me sick/And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer, for the summer.”
We would print out the whole song, but we threw up after rhyming “speakin’” with “Alex P. Keaton.”

Avril Lavigne, "Sk8r Boi"
“He was a boy, she was a girl / Can I make it any more obvious.”
M’am, could you make it a bit more obvious? We’re not all sophisticated like y’all Degrassi-watching Canadians. By the way, it's been pointed out before, but we've never known a "Sk8tr Boy" who had anything resembling girl trouble.

311, "Down"
"'Cuz we're dope and change like a chameleon / and my channel whenever that whack show Real Worldis on"
We put this on the list only to defend the honor of Judd Winick.

Eminem, "Ass Like That"
"I ain’t never seen an ass like that / The way you move it, you make my peepee go DOING DOING DOING"
We think one 'doing' would have sufficed, no?

Train “Drops of Jupiter”
“Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation /The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me”
First we’re travelling in space all fine and dandy, then he starts name-dropping fads from the year 2000 as if it’s a VH1 special and he’s Hal Sparks. Soy Lattes? Tae Bo? Yes, Venus did blow our minds.

Spice Girls, “Wannabe”
"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends”
Ok, no guy is going to say no to that (at least if Gerri turned the lights off.)
“Make it last forever friendship never ends”
Okay, girl power, we get it. Don’t really see how it has anything to do with us guys, but fine.
“If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give”
Alright, now it’s getting a little annoying. I’m fucking all four of your friends, like you told me to in the first line. What else do you want?
"Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.”
Slam your body down and zigazig ah, indeed. And yeah, we know, 1996 called and they want their jokes back.

Bruce Springsteen, "Glory Days"
"He could throw that speed ball by you / make you look like a fool"
Bruce, we hate to bring this up, because we think you're great and everything, and it might sound a little nitpicky and all, but it's just that . . . um . . . well, a fastball is what Roger Clemens and Randy Johnson throw and a speedball is what John Belushi took to kill himself. Unless you were trying to make a prophetic comment about Doc Gooden's career, in which case you did a great job.

Cranberries, "Salvation"
"To all the kids with heroin eyes / don't do it"
Nancy Reagan, Irish-style. The kids always listen when you tell them not to do something.

Limp Bizkit, "Break Stuff"
"It's just one of those days / When you don't wanna wake up / Everything is fucked / Everybody sucks / You don't really know why / But you wannna justify / Rippin' someone's head off"
Music is supposed to move people. This song just happened to move people to assault women and set fires at Woodstock ’99.

America's "A Horse With No Name" features a notable mental lapse in poetry
America, "A Horse With No Name"
"There were plants and birds and rocks and things"
What, did he get tired? Rocks and things?
Dashboard Confessional, "Screaming Infidelities"
"Your hair / it's everywhere"
We know Chris Carraba is the sentimental, romantic type and everything, and maybe our mind is in the gutter a little bit, but this just sounds gross.

Puddle of Mudd, "Control"
"I love the way you look at me/I love the way you smack my ass/I love the dirty things you do/I have control of you"
You charmer you!

Peter Cetera, "Glory of Love"
"Just like a knight in shining armor / from a long time ago"
It's fun to picture him getting the "knight in shining armor" part and then struggling with how to follow it up. "From Medieval times? From the 12th century? Fuck it: 'from a long time ago.' Yes! Cetera, you've done it again!"
Black Eyed Peas, "My Humps"
"My lovely lady lumps"
This has got to be the least appealing description for the female anatomy conceivable.

Relient K, "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"
"I watched the proverbial sunrise / coming up over the Pacific / and you might think I'm losing my mind / but I will shy away from specifics"
Not just the "duh" rhyme of "Pacific" and "specifics," but more importantly, didn't he just watch the sunrise? Why is it the proverbial sunrise? How is a sunrise proverbial? If you can explain it, we're open to listening.

Social Distortion, "Story of My Life"
"High school seemed like such a blur / I never had much interest in sports or school elections"
Neither did a lot of people. So what? Why didn’t you just smoke on the bleachers and play handball? High school had ended for you, like, ten years ago when you wrote this, didn't it? Might be time to move on.

100 Unsexiest Men Alive...

The following is taken from the Boston Phoenix.

The 100 unsexiest men in the world
Who would Scarlett least like to be with?


4/18/2006 6:34:51 PM
Welcome to the first installment of's 100 Unsexiest Men in the World. After pouring through thousands of photographs, millions of frames of movies and TV shows, the staff at has compiled a list of the least sexy males on the planet.

1. Gilbert Gottfried: Rumor has it that Gilbert is the heir apparent to Uncle Milty when it comes to what he's packing, but that still can't save him. The parrot-voiced, pickled-face comic is to sexy what Kryptonite is to Superman.

2. Randy Johnson: If he couldn't throw a ball 100 miles per hour, Johnson would be wearing a wife beater and getting hauled into a squad car on Cops. Could you imagine the nights when he pitched to Otis Nixon?

3. Roger Ebert: Yes, he lost all that weight. Yes, you still wouldn't fuck him.

4. Dr. Phil: Being a know-it-all is never sexy. Being a know-it-all who is also a bald-headed prick is downright horrid.

5. Alan Colmes: Not really fair, since he's got to sit next to brown shirt-stud Hannity each night. But Colmes - lazy eye, unkept hair, droopy features - has a face made for radio. Pirate radio. Garr!!

6. Chad Kroeger: It's not just the massive head, weird face, and bad hair. It's also the fact that he's in Nickelback, the worst band since the dawn of music.

7. Mike Mills: You'd want to talk music with the bassist from REM. Sleep with? Not unless you're trying to get to Pete Buck.

8. Osama Bin Laden: Power is sexy (notice how Dick Cheney isn't on the list). But a 6'5", no-vertical-leap mass murdering douche bag is not getting any style points.

9. Jay Leno: "It would be like having sex with a banana, but not in a good way," was what one of our staffers remarked about the fruit-headed comic.

10. Don Imus: "It would be like having sex with an old leather bag, but not in a good way," was what the same staffer remarked about the bag of skin and bones.

11. Michael Jackson: What happens when an ugly JC Penny manequin has sex with Pogo, the clown identity of serial killer John Wayne Gacy.

12. Wallace Shawn: Even if you're attracted to his rounded dome, how can anyone get past that nasally lisp?

13. Mike D. of the Beastie Boys: We hate to do this. But the sickly looking Beastie "did it like this, did it like that, did it with a wiffle ball bat . . . because no one would want to get within three feet of him naked.

14. Richard Simmons: Words don't do it justice.

15. Jon Lovitz: Bald, annoying, unfunny, and hair in the all the wrong places. For all we know, he was running through the cast of League of Their Own. But we doubt it.

16. Carrot Top: Sheer obnoxiousness necessitates his placement on this list.

17. Jerry Seinfeld: This is for everyone who has ever yelled at the TV when Jerry brought home another model on Seinfeld.

18. Malcolm Gladwell: The Tipping Point.

19. Chevy Chase: He got unfunny with age. Then he got ugly.

20. Raffi: Maybe it's his proffession. But no one surveyed, man or woman, could think of any situation in which they would bed down with him.

21. Ron Howard: He was cute as Opie, passable as Richie, but now as Ron Howard, he's just plain weird-looking. Especially with a beard.

22. Clint Howard: Ron's younger, balder, and weirder-looking brother. Yes, weirder looking than Ron Howard.

23. Bill Gates: To quote Dana Carvey: "Gates apparently made a deal with the devil: 'You can have $60 billion, but you have to go through life looking like a turtle.'"

24. Paul Shaffer: The bic'd look does not work for everyone, plus he makes all those crazy faces while he plays.

25. Axl Rose: I mean . . . did you see the 2003 VMAs?

26. Tim Burton: He's got the Robert Smith hair coupled with a mighty hunch. Yet he's dating Helena Bonham Carter.

27. Edward James Olmos: Remember season one of South Park? When Kenny was a zombie, everyone assumed it was an Edward James Olmos costume. Wonder why.

28. Gerard Way (from My Chemical Romance): Luckiest dude since Ringo. Or at the very least, since D12.

29. Don Zimmer: The gerbil's got a massive, ivory-white noggin' that never did much thinking to begin with. Ask any Red Sox fan over 35.

30. Tony Kornheiser: Yes, calling sportswriters unattractive is like shooting fish in a barrel. But come on, he looks like your uncle.

31. Chris Kattan

32. Otis Nixon

33. Julian Tavarez

34. Christopher Lloyd

35. Willie McGee

36. Pat Cummings

37. Scottie Pippen

38. Larry David

39. Michael Moore

40. Al Franken: Too arrogant

41. Paris Latsis: Maybe not the worst-looking guy in the world, but, well, think about who was there first.

42. Rush Limbaugh: No doubt he will claim his placement on this list as a result of a media bias and not the fact that he's just butt-ugly

43. David Gest

44. Garey Busey: Those teeth would give anyone nightmares.

45. Nick Nolte: Busey's oddball partner in crime, but at least he had a career once.

46. Leif Garrett

47. Andy Dick: It's a trap!

48. Scott Stapp

49. Lyle Lovett

50. Ric Ocasek: Yes, we know who his wife is. And no, we don't care.

51. Bill Wyman

52. Danny DeVito

53. Peter Jackson

54. Drew Carey

55. Newt Gingrich

56. Rob Schneider

57. Ed O'Neil: We love ya, Ed, but sorry. There was a reason you never waited on any really hot girls at that shoe store.

58. Bill O'Reilly

59. Clay Aiken: This feels like a cheap shot, but even leaving aside the rumors about his personal life, he still looks like someone's bratty little brother.

60. Joe Lieberman

61. Jim Gaffigan: Pasty, goofy-looking comedians abound on this list.

62. Bill Maher: . . . Especially ones with poodle hair.

63. John Popper

64. Dennis Miller

65. John Madden: Those massive hands seem more frightening than anything. Boom!

66. Robert Englund: Seriously, try lying in bed next to him without thinking about Freddy Krueger.

67. Robert Patrick: Seriously, try lying in bed next to him without thinking about the T-1000

68. John Ashcroft

69. Joe Gannascolli

70. Kevin James: His TV marriage to Leah Remini on King of Queens is less believable than anything on Lost.

71. George Steinbrenner: Come on, we live in Boston, you knew it was coming.

72. Grady Little: Come on, we live in Boston, you knew it was coming.

73. Harvey Pekar

74. DJ Qualls: What's he weigh, like, 70 pounds? How much of that is grease?

75. Joey Buttafuoco

76. Garry Shandling

77. Meat Loaf Aday

78. Joe Walsh

79. Tom from Myspace: As a friend of mine said, why does he have to be everyone's friend? Isn't that a little needy? Not hot at all.

80. Art Garfunkel

81. Brian Posehn

82. Howie Mandel

83. Barry Bonds €“ If what his mistress told the authors of Game of Shadows is true, then no, you don't want any part of that

84. Dick Vitale €“ Call it a hunch, but we have a feeling that sex with Dickie V. would be anything but "awesome, baby."

85. Richie "La Bamba" Rosenberg

86. Jeff Van Gundy

87. Jimmy Johnson: It's the hair

88. John Clayton: How is this ESPN's top football guy?

89. Don Vito: I suppose we were never really supposed to know what Bam Margera's uncle looks like, but since we do, he has to be included.

90. Lemmy Kilmister: Sadly, the ravages of time have not been kind to him.

91. Hideki Matsui

91. Jose Canseco: "Every time I have tried to help a woman, I've been incarcerated," he famously said on The Surreal Life. You old charmer, you.

92. Bill Parcells: Especially when you see the photos of him in shorts at training camp

93. Ric Flair: To be the man €“ WOO! €“ you got to . . . do something about those man boobs!

94. Ralph NaderÂ

95. Dennis Kucinich: Something about those progressives.

96. Horatio Sanz: Laughing at your own jokes is not sexy

97. Dom DeLuise

98. Emeril Lagasse

99. Kevin Federline: Mooching hicks aren't so hot these days.

100.Brad Pitt: He may look good, but if the rumors about his hygiene and BO issues are true, then he's probably not worth it.

Freaky Friday and the art of "getting digits"...

I believe that the Friday after Good Friday, according to the church calendar, is Freaky Friday. I could be mistaken, but it was a little odd.

I worked at the restaurant job tonight like any other Friday night. As an expeditor I work in the kitchen. I do not work behind the line, but rather on it. The kitchen is not an open kitchen, but I can see a portion of the bar and smoking section from my usual vantage point. I usually don't pay much mind to it as I obviously several tasks at hand. Tonight one of the servers (the lovely "N") informed me that one of her tables thought I was "really cute". Wow! They must've been loaded I thought...or chubby-chasers. I craned my neck to get a glance, but couldn't get a very good view. I didn't want to stare or move much closer. I wanted to down-play it. It seemed that every time I stole a glance I would catch someone STARING at me. I probably should have waved, but I was a little shy. I asked "S" if she'd take a peek for me. "S" wouldn't do me wrong. She came back and said that I should definitely not act on anything and leave things be. I was curious, certainly, and of course flattered. But it seems (from personal experience) that most of the women that have ever found me attractive and acted on it (pursued it) have been "hide your pet rabbit" futs! I think that being asked out by a woman or flirted with is just about the most flattering thing on earth. I'd love it if a girl asked me out. In my case it doesn't happen very often for various understandable reasons.

Anyhoo..."N" came back to the kitchen with a napkin with a name and phone number on it and it also said "You are a nice looking guy and I would like to get to know you more....." Dang! That's pretty damn forward. I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but in this situation I probably could've broken a very long involuntary streak of abstinence tonight. "N" said that the two ladies were couldn't stop looking at me. That's not something I get very often. It was flattering but also a little uncomfortable. The fact that other better looking male employees were bypassed and I was the focal point was also indeed flattering, but made me wonder what may be wrong with these ladies. "N" asked me if I wanted to come to the table or if I'd be interested in anything with them. I asked "N" to politely same I'm flattered, but not interested. They were sitting in smoking. While I'm not a smoker I don't entirely mind people smoking...until you kiss them. The fun of making out with someone is ruined when they're a smoker. It's like makeing out with a dirty ashtray. But the thing that made me finally decide not to call this woman (along with "S"'s advisory "no" and the fact that I'm crushin' on someone) was the fact that she only tipped "N" 13% on her bill. Not cool! Not fuckin' cool! I will not date anyone who cannot tip AT LEAST 15%. You can be hotter than Scarlett Johansson and holding a flourless chocolate cake and I still will not go out with you if you can't f'in tip or treat your server or others with the respect that they deserve. (I was once standing in line for a movie with a female friend who I was quite interested in at the time but she did something a little rude to another movie-goer and I actually got a little nauseous and all of my lustful interest subsided.) Thanks for the flattery, but no thanks! (At least it was a woman trying to hit on me this time...) ;)

In unrelated news...
I stopped by my Farmer Jack on the way from the restaurant like I normally do on Fridays only to discover a sign saying that they are now closing at midnight and opening at 6:00AM daily. I got there with 10 minutes to spare, but was only able to get about half the stuff on my list. I'm usually back in Dearborn after midnight so I'm SOL. There is a Kroger across the street, but I f'in hate Kroger! I did go to Kroger to get the other items I needed, but they never seem to have what I need. The layout is "prettier" but it doesn't matter much if they don't have what I need. What am I going to do?

Random quiz- If you could choose only ONE topping on your pizza what would it be?
(Mine would be mushrooms)


You Are 31% American

America: You don't love it or want to leave it.
But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over.
On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead...
And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Food Faves...

Here's a very random and haphazard list that I've come with. This is a list of some of my favorite restaurants and meals and such. These are simply the best that I've encountered so far and are based solely on my humble opinion and nothing else.

Best Italian
Bacco (Southfield, MI)

Best Meal Ever
Trio (Evanston, IL - 21 Course Tasting Menu)

Best Individual Dish
12 Hour Braised Pork Belly (Blackbird- Chicago, IL)

Best Breakfast
Bill's (Darlinghurst, Sydney, NSW, Austrralia- The scrambled eggs are a life-changing event...seriously)

Most Overpriced Bar
Whiskey Blue (Manhattan)

Best Bar Burger
Miller's Bar (Dearborn, MI)

Best Burger
Some little divey ice cream place near North Platte, Nebraska.

Best Mexican (Detroit)

Best Mexican (anwhere)
Frontera Grill/Topolobampo (Chicago)

Best Clam Chowder (New England style)
Moe's (Lincoln City, OR)

Best Fast Food- Mexican
Taco Time (West coast)

Best Fast Food- Burgers
Arctic Circle (West coast)

Best Restaurant- Detroit area

Best Middle Eastern
Al-Ameer (Dearborn, MI)

Best Hot Dog
Nathan's Famous (New York- multiple locations)

Best Ice Cream
Some small family owned place in Grants Pass, OR

Best Sushi (Detroit area)
Little Tree (Royal Oak, MI)

Best Sushi (anywhere)
Bridgewater Mill Restaurant (Adelaide Hills, SA, Australia)

Best Pasta
A little place on Lake Lugano in the tiny ancient town of Gandria in Kanton Ticino, Switzerland.

Best Pizza
Still trying to find it. Most New York pizza is pretty darn good. I had some great pizza in Switzerland too. The best pizza is thin and fired in a wood-burning oven. Not a lot of great pizza in Michigan. I haven't been to Naples yet for the perfect pizza Margherita.

Best Chinese (Detroit area)
Hong Hua (Farmington Hills, MI- Mon Jin Lau in Troy kicks ass too)

Best Turkish
Alan Manor (Windsor, ON, Canada- It has reopened with a new name)

Best Indian
Priya (Farmington Hills/Troy, MI)

Best Desserts (Fancy)
Cuisine (Detroit, MI)

Best Desserts (Less fancy)
Traffic Jam and Snug (Detroit, MI)

Best 24-hour joint
National Coney Island (any location)

Best 24-hour joint ever that isn't open any more

Best Steak
Les Halles Brasserie (New York)

Best Prime Rib
J Alexander's (various locations)

Best Milkshake
Calder Brothers Dairy (Lincoln Park, MI)

Best Eggnog
Calder Brothers Dairy (Lincoln Park, MI)

Best Smoked Salmon
Any hot-smoked salmon sold by a fisherman off any Oregon pier.

Best Soups
The private club where I used to work.

Best "American" Food
Zingerman's Roadhouse (Ann Arbor, MI)

Best Vietnamese (Detroit area)
Annam (Dearborn, MI)

Best Vietnamese (Anywhere)
Anywhere in Australia. Or any street cart springroll vendor at the Oregon state capital building in Salem.

Best Venison
This cafe in the Swiss Alps near the Gotthard pass.

Best Australian Restaurant (not in Australia)
Public (In the Nolita district of Manhattan)

Most Overrated Restaurant (Detroit area)
Opus One

Best Dessert Souffle

Worst Service
Majestic Cafe/Traffic Jam and Snug - TIE

Best Small Plates
Vinotecca (Royal Oak, MI)

Best Duck (magret)
The Earle (Ann Arbor, MI)

Best Roast Duck
Steve and Rocky's (Novi, MI)

Best Eclectic
Traffic Jam and Snug (Detroit)

Best Sweetbreads
The Earle (Ann Arbor, MI)

Best Deli
Zingerman's (Ann Arbor, MI)

Best Margaritas (anywhere)
Frontera Grill (Chicago)

Best Margaritas (Detroit area)
Agave Grill

Best Roesti
The Feldschlossen brew house in Zurich, Switzerland

Best Brewhouse for Food
Bonfire Bistro (Northville, MI)

Best Sausage Rolls
A small cafe on George Street in the Rocks district of Sydney

Best Vegemite Roll
At a small bakery in Broken Hill, NSW, Australia. (In the Outback- the same town where they filmed the bar scene from The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert)

Best Aussie Wine List
The Melbourne Wine Room at the George Hotel in Melbourne, Australia

Best Restaurant Decor
Botanical (Melbourne, Australia)

Most overpriced and underperforming steak
Ruth's Chris (various locations)

Best place to grab a croissant or baguette and a cup of coffee
Adelaide Central Market (assorted stalls- Adelaide, Australia)

Best Winery Restaurant
Bridgewater Mill Restaurant (Adelaide Hills, Australia)

Best Restaurant (Australia)
Bridgewater Mill Restaurant (Adelaide Hills, Australia)

Best Winery Meal
Chateau Reynella (Adelaide, Australia), Yalumba Menzies Wine Room (Coonawarra, SA, Australia)- TIE

Best B&B
Kalangadoo House (Kalangadoo, SA, Australia- near Coonawarra at Mt. Gambier)

Best comfort food
Anything my mom makes



Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I'm really not a morning person but...

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary.
You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward.
Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts.
All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

Scary news stories...

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Boing! The springiest spring ever and a trifecta of TV.

Hey kids!

This spring is the most properly spring-like that I seem to recall in Michigan. Michigan spring lately has been an amalgam of snow flurries, 80+ days, wind storms, and just random craziness. This year has been pretty warm and we've had a fair amount of rain. I think that both of those things are supposed to be associated with spring weather. Crazy. Just crazy.

I hope that you all had a nice Easter. Mine was fine. Nothing too eventful. I drove to visit family, had lunch, and drove back. Along the way on the drive I noticed an Amish buggy for sale (there are Amish near my parents). It was marked at $1500 and parked in front of a non-Amish house. Do you think that maybe someone was buggy-jacked and the thing is "hot"? Is $1500 the going rate for a used buggy?

I scarily joined the modern age and bought a cell phone. I figure that I'll be getting brain cancer about 5-10 years after everyone else. It's pretty cool, but I haven't gotten a single call yet. I currently have "Walk the Line" by Johnny Cash as my ring tone, so that's pretty cool.

Last night was a great night of TV for me. A great episode of 24 at 9:00PM, a repeat of Sunday's Sopranos at 10:00PM (I got home late on Sunday), and then No Reservations which I had taped while watching The Sopranos. All of them were awesome! The Sopranos is getting pretty damn interesting after a sort of slow (but good) start. 24 just frickin' rocked! Each week is a nailbiter. The guy who plays the President should get an Emmy! Awesome frickin' season! Anthony Bourdain was in Quebec and ate a butt-load of foie gras on No Reservations. Mmmmmmmm...

I was thinking and here are a few things that I'm either glad of or not so glad of...

I'm glad I'm NOT one of those people who "hangs out" at Starbucks.

I'm glad I'm NOT a Bush.

I'm glad I'm a Detroiter.

I'm glad I work in the wine business.

I'm not glad I work for idiots.

I'm glad and thankful to have great friends.

I'm glad that The Sopranos is back on.

I'm not glad that I don't have much of a social life.

I'm glad I bought the new Neko Case album. (Awesome!)

I'm glad that I've been invited to judge a wine competition in another country. (It's only across the river...)

I'm glad to be a geek.

I'm glad that I can now hear the frogs at night and the robins in the morning.

I'm not glad that the heat and humidity are on the rise.

I'm glad that the generals are speaking up.

I'm not glad that Donald Rumsfeld is such a tool.

I'm glad that I have the ability to order the world's best bread directly from a French bakery over the internet and can get it shipped in time for my dinner party.

I'm also glad that I have access to Normandy butter to go with said bread.

I'm not glad to hear talk of the possible use of nukes.

I'm glad to be Swiss.

I'm glad that I've been to Australia.

I'm glad to be a liberal.

That's about it for now.


Sunday, April 16, 2006

You Are a Blue Flower

A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance.
At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower.
And at other times, you are wise like an iris.
And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Spring is in the air...or is that "Downriver smell"?

Spring is definitely least for now. I can here all the frogs and other critters making their noises at night. It's been a lovely week except for a little rain, but then again I grew up in Oregon so I really don't mind the stuff. The question is, however, will we get more snow (flurries)?

What do you think?

Have a happy Easter! Eat everything you shouldn't...even the plastic eggs.

Cadbury Creme Egg

You're the type that stole little brother's easter basket so that you could have MORE CANDY!

Thank goodness I'm not a damn Peep. Those things suck worse than candy corn.

Monday, April 10, 2006

A prophet's profits, dirty deeds, and glory holes...

There's this guy who comes to town several times a year and stays at a local hotel. He's a celebrity of sorts. Not one that I would have ever heard of since I do not watch Total Bullshit Network. He makes regular appearances on said network. He's a televangelist of sorts, an inspirational speaker, a musician, and a self-proclaimed prophet. I will not mention any names as I do not wish to be smited by whacko religious types or his giant-ass bodyguard (a really nice guy actually). Said prophet hails from the southern hemisphere and I'll leave it at that. I will also make it known that M, one of his assistants, is a total hottie. I'm not one to be taken by his mumbo jumbo, but he's a decent enough guy on a personal level. He likes wine. He likes wine a lot. He likes good wine. He likes expensive wine. I don't make any commission so it really doesn't matter what I sell him. But I always like to sell him something special without going mega-expensive. He could be considered a cherry-picking ratings whore, but he always allows me to sell him whatever I recommend as he has come to trust my palate. He said that I've never done him wrong yet. Maybe he's just being polite, but I think he's truthful here (don't mind his toupe, colored contacts, and lifts). He was in yesterday. It's been a while since he's been in town. I sold him some really nice stuff yestereday, but that's okay...he can afford it. Apparently prophets/TV evangelists aren't afraid to drop some major coin on Jesus juice (that's what Michael Jackson calls it when he gives it to little kids). But then again prophets are in the profit business. If that's what it's going to take to boost the wine business then "Yay God!" I'm not sure what his other extravagances are, but he's not quite at the Benny Hinn level...

More scary shit in political news here from "The Briefing" segment of Rolling Stone magazine (issue #998) by Tim Dickinson.

There's a great article in the same issue that's not posted on the site yet called "The Pentagon's New Spies" on domestic spying. Scary shit! Look for it.

In "More Scary Shit" news from Rolling Stone magazine...
The new RS also has an "Environment Watch" segment penned by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. entitled "Good Riddance, Gale Norton". I'm going to reprint it word for word as it's short enough and not posted on the site yet...

Gale Norton stepped down as Secretary of the Interior on March 31st, ending her ferocious five-year assault on the lands and wildlife she was charged to protect. A former lobbyist and lawyer for the mining and timber industries, Norton made it her goal as secretary to give away as many of our publicly owned resources as she could to the energy, timber, and mining interests, often for free or at fire-sale prices. She opened tens of millions of acres of key wildlife habitat to oil and gas tycoons, industrial logging barons and reckless developers. She blocked hard-won plans to control the use of snowmobiles in Yellowstone National Park and campaigned tirelessly to open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling. She suppressed dozens of scientific studies and punished scientists when their findings challenged corporate profit-taking. She put polluters and their lobbyists in charge of virtually all of the agences that are supposed to protect American from polluters. She even refused to reprimand her deputy, the former mining and oil lobbyist Steven Griles, after an investigation by the Interior Departments's inspector general found that he had doled out multimillion-dollar favors to his former clients.

Now that she is leaving, Norton says she is setting her sights on "the private sector." Her record suggests she has been working for the private sector all along.

Norton may be getting out just in time. Federal prosecutors are investigating GOP lobbyist Jack Abramoff, who bought top-level access to the Interior Department by gulling Indian tribes into paying $500,000 to the head of the Council of Republicans for Environmental Advocacy, a phony green group co-founded by Norton with funding from the timber, chemical and oil industries.

Unfortunately, Norton's departure isn't likely to end such corporate piracy at the Interior. President Bush's choice to replace her is another industry toady- Idaho governor Dirk Kempthorne, who earned a zero rating from the League of Conservation Voters during five of his six years in the U.S. Senate. As governor, he repeatedly slashed Idaho's environmental budget, cut air-pollution inspections by thirty-eight percent and fought to increase logging in national forests- a record that has led environmentalists to dub him "Gale Norton in pants."

Be very afraid! Thank goodness there are still Kennedys around to care and fight for what's right. There are obviously lots of people out there who care, but the Kennedy name still carries some weight. Bob Jr. and the NRDC are doing a hell of a job. Help them out!

In other news...
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is still a good movie. I saw it at the theater and I watched it again last night on DVD. Great stuff, but I did love the Chronicles of Narnia when I was a kid.

There's talk of putting up border walls between the U.S. and Mexico. How about putting "glory holes" every twenty feet or so? It would be fun for both sides. I'm sure it would have made Cold War-Berlin more enjoyable... (sorry for the visual)

Two of my favorite waitresses are leaving "the restaurant job". That sucks! Good luck to both of them!




First and foremost I would like to offer my condolences to a good friend for the loss of his brother. He has suffered through an unlikely amount of loss in the last few years. I couldn't even imagine it. I wish you peace and lend you an ear and a hand.

Peace and love,
You Are an Excellent Cook

You're a top cook, but you weren't born that way. It's taken a lot of practice, a lot of experimenting, and a lot of learning.
It's likely that you have what it takes to be a top chef, should you have the desire...

Friday, April 07, 2006

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"Nice doggy."
You Are 24% Selfish

In general, you are a very giving person who treats others very well.
But at times, you insist on getting your way - when it matters most to you.

What's your theme song?

Your Theme Song is Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf

"I like smoke and lightning
Heavy metal thunder
Racin' with the wind
And the feelin' that I'm under"

A total independent spirit, you can't be held down or fenced in.
You crave the feeling of wind on your face... and totally freedom.

I don't know how the hell this quiz came with this song provided the answers I gave. I think this one is a little messed up.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

The return of Johnny Skidmarks...

There's this guy...
he's a real loser. He's a bigger loser than Susan Lucci in the Daytime Emmys. He's a bigger loser than Ashlee Simpson. NASCAR is too highbrow for this guy. He's almost as big a loser as Dubya. He has all the couth of a flatulent dog. Somebody peed in the gene pool. He's a dingleberry on the ass of life. I think you get the idea.

He was in the store yesterday. He hasn't been in the store in a long time. He and his wife are about as bottom-of-the-barrel white trash as you can get, yet they like to attend all of the wine events around town and embarrass themselves. That's their prerogative I guess. He's an asshole. He doesn't know what he's talking about when it comes to wine. He always drives everybody crazy and never buys anything when he's in the store. He wears bad polyester to formal events.

Some of us have come up with the nickname of "Johnny Skidmarks" for him. You can do the math and figure out why. It's just an assumption of ours, but we're pretty sure we're right. His grandkids were in here with him a few years ago with three-day-old Kool-Aid mustaches. They were running up and down the aisles screaming and causing general havoc. A real hoot. This isn't going anywhere really, but seeing him again yesterday made me throw up a little bit in my mouth...

Another dead-on opinion column from Jack Lessenberry here about some asshole hot-to-trot Harvard Economics prof that thinks Detroit is going to the shitter and that we should do nothing to stop it.

If the proof is in the pudding is the theory in the Jello?

Right now (at this very moment of posting) all 3 active Detroit pro sports teams #1. No pressure on the Tigers or anything...

Lost is getting further and further out there, but I guess they've got to spread it out as long the ratings are good.

This could potentially be the springiest Spring in Michigan in years. It almost feels like Spring. I'm sure we'll get another snow in May and then a 75 degree day after that yet...

Three types of Dagoba brand organic chocolate have been recalled for having fatal amounts of lead in them. I guess as long as they're using organic lead...



Tuesday, April 04, 2006

July 27, 2007 is too damn far away...

It was unveiled last night that The Simpsons movie will come out on July 27, 2007. I am so there. I am such a geek...

And so is the sad life of a TV junkie. It's pretty sad that all I have to look forward to these days is coming home after work and watching TV. The fact that I work later than most people doesn't help. I don't get out as much as I like. The fact that there's a lot of really good TV on this season doesn't help matters either. As a sort of follow up to EW's top shows that I posted previously and and also a nod to Glen's list here's my current top 12 list of shows in no particular order...

The Sopranos (Welcome back!)
24 (Holy shit! The President's in on it!!! I didn't see that coming.)
No Reservations
Globe Trekker (not on a regular schedule, but a kick-ass travel show)
The Office
My Name is Earl
Battlestar Galactica (season just ended)
The Daily Show
Family Guy
Law and Order: SVU

This is the f'ing season for Paulie Walnuts. Great lines! I wonder if Bobby is going to get some retribution from the rapper for shooting him in the ass??? I'm looking forward to see how they wrap this show up...

Paulie F'ing Walnuts!

I'm really glad that the new season of No Reservations has started on the Travel Channel. Anthony Bourdain is the best novel-writing Ramones-loving TV show-hosting celebrity chef out there! Any chef/writer that gives appropriate props to the Ramones, Television, Richard Hell, and the Stranglers is all right with me...
Next week: Peru

Major plot twist tonight on 24! Holy shit!

Now that I have HBO again (for The Sopranos) I stayed up late the other night watching the one of the biggest shitfests recently devoted to celluloid. I ended up watching The Day After Tomorrow. I figured it couldn't be all that bad if Jake Gyllenhall was in it...I was dead wrong. This is one of the most contrived, formulaic turds that Hollywood has dropped in a while. A big budget does not a good movie make. I understand that global warming is going to screw us all eventually even if we take every precaution against it, but this movie almost makes my brain hurt more than if I was subjected to being locked in a small room with Pauly Shore, Carrot Top, country music supertard Toby Keith, and Bill "The Hemorrhoid" O'Reilly and the topic of discussion was Ashlee Simpson. That's why I love indie films! A little bit of Hollywood formula is expected, but don't just slap us in the face with it. Why did Ian Holm commit to this piece of shite? At least the beautiful Sela Ward is in it. Can you believe that she's 50? I would so do her...

My life is so sad that I'm going to contribute some space to my recent purchase of the Gillette Fusion razor. You know the one. The one that was donated all over the Superbowl. The one with 5 blades and a single blade on the other side for hard to reach places. That one. shaves pretty well. Pretty close indeed. It's a little clumsier as it has 5 blades...but it has 5 blades. For the price I paid and all the hype in the commercials I was expecting a happy ending...
I hate shaving! I really do. I'd use an electric shaver if it didn't irritate the hell out of my face. Maybe the happy ending comes with the battery powered version???

Crack, heroin, crystal meth, methadone, pot, alcohol, gambling...
These are all cool addictions to have. (I'm kidding of course)
I have an addiction. I've got it bad. I'm addicted to a video game called Fish Tycoon. I tried the trial version on a free flashware game site and ended up buying the full version. You essentiall start out with a little money and end up buying and breeding fish (over 400 and 7 magical ones). It plays in real time. I've already managed to breed all seven magical fish, but I'm still breeding and mutating several species to see what else I can come with.

I need to get out more often...



Saturday, April 01, 2006

I am the greatest cookie of all...

You Are a Chocolate Chip Cookie

Traditional and conservative, most people find you comforting.
You're friendly and easy to get to know. This makes you very popular - without even trying!

That would make me perfect as chocolate chip cookies are perfect. So this quiz must be flawed. Chocolate chip cookies rule!